Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I will write it, just not yet

I can be an emotional guy. I have been known to let my passions get away from me at times. Sometimes, my boss will advise me to keep my cool. Sometimes the dog looks at me when I come in the door and just hides.

I will shed a tear watching a Disney movie. I enjoy a good laugh, and always have a shoulder ready if someone needs to unload. I understand both empathy and sympathy.

I was not ready for this one...

I've been trolling through the archives of Ambulance Driver's blog. That, right there, is some amazing writing...pithy and funny and heart-wrenching. Good stuff, all of it.

And then I came across this post and I cried.

For five solid minutes.

You see, I am not yet ready to write that story. I don't yet have the words. Whenever I think about it, I lose my voice and can't see my keyboard because of the tears.

I miss my dad.

On October 22, 2001 I lost him to a heart attack. He was just a week past his 65th birthday. I hadn't seen him for a year. I had moved my family across the country in 2000 to seek a better life than the one California offered. The last time I saw him alive was contentious. We stayed in touch by phone.

And then he was gone.

It still hurts.

AD, thanks for your post. One day, when it hurts a little less, I will post one of my own.

I promise.


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